MIND MATTERS: COMMON COURTESY

Whatever happened to Common Courtesy and Respect? Did they disappear with Common Sense, or are they hiding with Sense of Community? 

It’s time for us to remember our Midwest roots and resurrect them! 

Let me explain. Recently I experienced two incidents that left me shaking my head and wondering why some people just don’t seem to care anymore about the feelings or needs of others. 

1. In preparation for the July 4 fireworks, my kids found a choice spot and planted themselves. A group asked to join us, but when the man’s cigar smoke made the kids sick and caused us to leave, the man refused to extinguish it, then laughed at how his cigar smoke got them such a great view.
    

2. At the water park the next day, we arrived very early and set up chairs under shade. Mid-morning a family arrived while we were swimming and pushed us into the sun to position themselves under our canopy, then refused to move when we returned.

Rude, don’t you think? We spent hours discussing these incidents, trying to determine why people don’t act out of courtesy anymore, but seem to feel entitled to whatever they want, regardless of the consequences to others. In my examples above, it would have been very easy—and kind—to simply put out the cigar as soon as they knew it was bothering our children. Or the family could simply have asked to share (rather than take) our shade. Another family came later, asked nicely, and we gladly gave them some space. 

Courtesy. Kindness. Respect. 

I’ve argued in the past that America has a problem with entitlement—we feel we deserve whatever we want. And we may deserve many things, but we live in a community, and part of being members of any community is being respectful of others’ rights…doing things for the betterment of the group, not just for ourselves. 

As we used to say in high school sports, “Sacrifice for the team.” 

Fortunately, there are individuals who are uncommonly courteous, who go way out to provide exceptional service to others. Like my doctor who kept calling me through busy signals on a holiday to tell me to get my prescription before the pharmacy closed. Phenomenal. 

So, today’s message is like that bumper sticker: Practice Random Acts of Kindness. You’ll stand above the crowd.

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Wendy Jameson, MA, offers business and personal coaching through her company, Potentiate (www.potentiate.net). She's an author, counselor, consultant and life adventurer. She lives in Gilbert with her husband, two boys and pet menagerie.